


they're good dogs Brendt

by SamanthaBlue



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff and Crack, Gen, based on a meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 05:25:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9477500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaBlue/pseuds/SamanthaBlue
Summary: Benji thinks the IMF should get guard dogs for all their agents, and he keeps sending Brandt photographs of the canine candidates.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Basically I've been having a hard time and just needed a bit of a laugh. Basically ripped off the "they're good dogs Brent" meme.

Brandt deeply regretted mentioning in the break room a week ago that he had been put in charge of a taskforce analyzing the ongoing protection of agents and assets to the IMF. It was a job he took very seriously – while it was wonderful that Julia had lived, Brandt had never gotten over his anxiety relating to the personal safety of people working for the organisation. He felt it important to analyse every avenue of safety, so he’d asked Benji on Thursday for any ideas on things he might have missed, expecting him to mention some obscure metadata fact that Brandt had overlooked.

Benji apparently didn’t take the taskforce as seriously as Brandt.

“You should get every agent a guard dog,” he said, face completely serious. “And have all the dogs wear plungers attached to their paws, so they can climb buildings with their agents at a moment’s notice. And train them to code, too, that could come in handy.”

Brandt had ignored Benji, but at least twice a day since then he had received emails from his friend with pictures of dogs available to adopt, with a short paragraph explaining why it would make a good guard dog. The reasons were stupid, listing things like a dog’s dubious ability to use children’s play equipment or sit on top of pianos, and Benji always rated their ability to be guard dogs as numbers over ten out of ten. Worst of all, he misspelled nearly every word. Benji was a good speller – he only did it because he knew it annoyed Brandt.

Brandt’s computer gave another dinging sound, signaling another email. Brandt clicked on it, and was greeted to a picture of one of the ugliest chihuahuas he’d ever seen, licking pudding out of a plastic tub.

**From** : benjamin.dunn@imf.gov  
 **To** : william.brandt@imf.gov  
 **Subject** : pupper licks good

_this pupper exelent at detecting poison. 13/10. whose a good boy._

Brandt grit his teeth – he had actual work to be getting on with. Losing patience, he clicked “Reply”.

**From** : william.brandt@imf.gov  
 **To** : benjamin.dunn@imf.gov  
 **Subject** : pupper licks good

_Benji –_

_This rating system is stupid. It makes no sense. They aren’t even guard dogs – they’re just cute._

_Brandt_

Not three minutes later, his computer dinged again, and Brandt opened up the new email.

**From** : benjamin.dunn@imf.gov  
 **To** : william.brandt@imf.gov  
 **Subject** : pupper licks good

_Why so mad Brondt?_

Eye twitching, Brandt tapped off a reply.

**From** : william.brandt@imf.gov  
 **To** : benjamin.dunn@imf.gov  
 **Subject** : pupper licks good

_Benji –_

_You can’t rate every dog 12/10 or 13/10 – it completely defeats the purpose of ratings and rankings. I’m sure you’ve never gotten any score like that in a performance review. Numerically it makes no sense!_

_Brandt_

Brandt managed to only enter a couple more cells in his spreadsheet before his email dinged again.

**From** : benjamin.dunn@imf.gov  
 **To** : william.brandt@imf.gov  
 **Subject** : pupper licks good

_they’re good dogs Brendt._


End file.
